i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
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