i permit you to call me
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
