I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
