thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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