Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Randomize
