go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
