He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize