I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
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