we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
