i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
