I hate your face
You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
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