It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
