dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
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