absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
25 Of The Most Common Life Mistakes Young People Make
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
25 People Confess What They Really Think When They See An Obese Person
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.