I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
If I had your ass I would rule the world
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