why didn't you poke me back
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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