im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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