Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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