i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
