i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
