Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Randomize
