Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
it's great music for shaving your balls
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i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
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Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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