My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Im just a social blackout drinker.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Randomize
