it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
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