Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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