discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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