Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
