well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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