no, he came in my armpit
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
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