Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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