he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
