Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
