Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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