Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
It's shark week go big or go home
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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