the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
