I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
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he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
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I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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