kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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