She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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