and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
