I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
