I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
