we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
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