we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Randomize
