saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Randomize
