Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
