I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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