Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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