I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
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This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
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New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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