i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
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