So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
