my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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