OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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