You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
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