we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
