idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
