This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
