this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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