Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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