idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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