so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
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