and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Randomize
