this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
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