Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
