Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
