So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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