so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize