Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Randomize
