Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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