Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
