"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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